My response:
I believe that Kerry's remarks were taken somewhat out of context. I don't think his intention was to bash the troops. His intention was to take a hit at the President. Ever hit and miss? We all do it from time to time, Republicans, Democrats, Independents alike. He's not denying he said it. He should apologize to those soldiers he has offended. With that said it has long been a fact that the men and women from a more modest background who enter the armed forces far outweigh the rich and over-privileged that join. Do you see sons and daughters of the rich and powerful joining the military? As a general rule you do not. Also many men and women who join the forces do it for the purpose of financing an education. They are not well educated, yet. Most go straight out of high school in hopes of securing their future. Lastly, I think people ought not take everything that comes out of a politicians mouth literally. Empathy goes a long way in diplomacy. Grow up America.
And just for the record, I have more respect and admiration for the 'uneducated' soldier than I do ANY politician.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Weekend from Hell
SERIOUSLY!!!! ONE OF THE WORST WEEKENDS (besides Friday-jewelry party) I'VE HAD IN A VERY LONG TIME.
Saturday was supposed to be a great day. A day off work - Yippeee! Not so much. I slept til about 1pm. It came at a cost as I woke up and began my dance with evil. I have plans to see my neice dance at 7pm so I go to the grocery store around 6pm to get some stuff for my kids and their friends that are spending the night. My son had his friend Cody over and Jamea had a friend from across the street over. I get home after the store only to find Larry, the kids, and actually the whole neighborhood freaking out because the electricity went out. I thought at first 'damn did I miss my payment arrangement with Xcel?' Thank God that wasn't the cause. I'm not sure what was but the whole block was out. My daughter decides to go over to her friends house to stay cause we weren't sure how long the elec. would be out. Cool. Larry was being a complete DICK as usual, so I decide to have my nephew's friend stay the night so he can watch the boys in the morning while I work - til 11am. Cool. I'm thinking the elec. is going to come on soon, it has to, right? Nope it doesn't. Around 7pm elec still isn't on and I decide instead of seeing my niece dance to take the boys to BK, we eat, they play for a while, we leave. Elec still not on. It's 8:30 now. We sit here in the dark with mega candles flickering, the boys are getting bored. I take them over to my sister's house, they decide to stay there so they can watch tv and play Xbox. My nephew's friend was okay with that - he's part of the family so no big deal. Cool. I come home freeze my ass off and finally elec comes on at 2am. I'm thinking things are okay now. Then my gas/CO alarm goes off, I have to call Xcel at 2:15 to have them come back out to make sure there's no gas leak. I get the all clear, maybe get another hour of sleep and off to work I go. No one is at my house now. 'Shit' I'm thinking, 'what if Jamea tries to walk home (across the street) and the door is locked and no one is home?' I call the neighbor whom I insist on calling John when his name is Allen. He says Jamea already left. 'Shit, shit, shit.' He goes outside to try and find Jamea to tell her to go back to his house and he finds the Sartell PD talking to Jamea. I guess she was knocking on the door, crying for about a half hour before the neighbor called the police. As he tells me this I feel like the worst mother in the world. How could I let that happen? Anyway, the PO brought her to my job and she hung out with me for a while. My sister picked her up and that was the end of that. My neighbors now think I'm crazy (I was trying to avoid that), the PD probably has me on their shit list, and I just feel horrible. I get off work, get my kids, take Jarod's friend home, go home, carve pumpkins - Oh what a treat! - do the normal nightly stuff which sucks all the time and finally I get to go to bed - my favorite time of the day. I felt like I had competed in a Triathalon and lost my ass. Anyway, I couldn't wait to get to work yesterday. Work is my sanctuary. As sad as that is. Hope your weekend was better. NEEDLESS TO SAY WE WON'T BE HAVING ANY SLEEPOVERS ANYTIME SOON.
Thanks for the shoulder.
Saturday was supposed to be a great day. A day off work - Yippeee! Not so much. I slept til about 1pm. It came at a cost as I woke up and began my dance with evil. I have plans to see my neice dance at 7pm so I go to the grocery store around 6pm to get some stuff for my kids and their friends that are spending the night. My son had his friend Cody over and Jamea had a friend from across the street over. I get home after the store only to find Larry, the kids, and actually the whole neighborhood freaking out because the electricity went out. I thought at first 'damn did I miss my payment arrangement with Xcel?' Thank God that wasn't the cause. I'm not sure what was but the whole block was out. My daughter decides to go over to her friends house to stay cause we weren't sure how long the elec. would be out. Cool. Larry was being a complete DICK as usual, so I decide to have my nephew's friend stay the night so he can watch the boys in the morning while I work - til 11am. Cool. I'm thinking the elec. is going to come on soon, it has to, right? Nope it doesn't. Around 7pm elec still isn't on and I decide instead of seeing my niece dance to take the boys to BK, we eat, they play for a while, we leave. Elec still not on. It's 8:30 now. We sit here in the dark with mega candles flickering, the boys are getting bored. I take them over to my sister's house, they decide to stay there so they can watch tv and play Xbox. My nephew's friend was okay with that - he's part of the family so no big deal. Cool. I come home freeze my ass off and finally elec comes on at 2am. I'm thinking things are okay now. Then my gas/CO alarm goes off, I have to call Xcel at 2:15 to have them come back out to make sure there's no gas leak. I get the all clear, maybe get another hour of sleep and off to work I go. No one is at my house now. 'Shit' I'm thinking, 'what if Jamea tries to walk home (across the street) and the door is locked and no one is home?' I call the neighbor whom I insist on calling John when his name is Allen. He says Jamea already left. 'Shit, shit, shit.' He goes outside to try and find Jamea to tell her to go back to his house and he finds the Sartell PD talking to Jamea. I guess she was knocking on the door, crying for about a half hour before the neighbor called the police. As he tells me this I feel like the worst mother in the world. How could I let that happen? Anyway, the PO brought her to my job and she hung out with me for a while. My sister picked her up and that was the end of that. My neighbors now think I'm crazy (I was trying to avoid that), the PD probably has me on their shit list, and I just feel horrible. I get off work, get my kids, take Jarod's friend home, go home, carve pumpkins - Oh what a treat! - do the normal nightly stuff which sucks all the time and finally I get to go to bed - my favorite time of the day. I felt like I had competed in a Triathalon and lost my ass. Anyway, I couldn't wait to get to work yesterday. Work is my sanctuary. As sad as that is. Hope your weekend was better. NEEDLESS TO SAY WE WON'T BE HAVING ANY SLEEPOVERS ANYTIME SOON.
Thanks for the shoulder.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Momentos dificiles
Tough times are upon me. Some people think shit is always hard for me. Not really. Usually things are pretty good. I'm a happy person. I'm low maintenance, don't need a lot to be happy. I think I handle stress pretty well. I don't know.
Financially, I need to figure things out. Okay, so I shouldn't have spent money at the jewelry party. That's okay though, I don't regret it. I need stuff for me. Without the occasional splurge on myself, I would go crazy. By occasion splurge, I really mean occasional. Not every month or even every three. How about every six months I will buy something nice for myself, like a new outfit for work, or jewelry - I'm so excited!!! I can't wait to get it and wear it! And the party will be fun. I had a great time just hanging out with you guys at the apartment. Sorry about the bar, I'm not very fun there. It gets boring quick when you don't drink. I still had a good time chatting though.
Anyway, emotionally/mentally, I'm drained. I'm in the mode where I will snap on anyone right now if they ask me for anything. I mean anything. All I hear between the kids and L. is 'I need... ', 'I want...', 'You need to give me...' Aargh. If I hear that anymore someone will be sorry.
It would be nice to hear instead, 'I know Mom.' 'Ok Mom.' 'Thanks Jamie' from (L.). 'Why don't I take the kids to my house so you can take some time to relax and do what you want?'
'How was your day?' 'How are you?' You know stuff like that. Never happens. As soon as I talk to or hear from the kids or Larry, demands start to fly. Of course I don't take it too well and all three of them get some lip about it from me. I don't want to be like that though. I don't like my sharp tounge sometimes. I really feel bad when the day is over. I love my kids but right now I'm not 'liking' them much. I feel a shift coming on. There will be 2 temporarily unhappy children in my household if they don't heed the warning and KNOCK IT OFF!!!
Anyway, other than that life is great. Job = great. Sleep = great. Music = great. Good friends = great.
Later.
Financially, I need to figure things out. Okay, so I shouldn't have spent money at the jewelry party. That's okay though, I don't regret it. I need stuff for me. Without the occasional splurge on myself, I would go crazy. By occasion splurge, I really mean occasional. Not every month or even every three. How about every six months I will buy something nice for myself, like a new outfit for work, or jewelry - I'm so excited!!! I can't wait to get it and wear it! And the party will be fun. I had a great time just hanging out with you guys at the apartment. Sorry about the bar, I'm not very fun there. It gets boring quick when you don't drink. I still had a good time chatting though.
Anyway, emotionally/mentally, I'm drained. I'm in the mode where I will snap on anyone right now if they ask me for anything. I mean anything. All I hear between the kids and L. is 'I need... ', 'I want...', 'You need to give me...' Aargh. If I hear that anymore someone will be sorry.
It would be nice to hear instead, 'I know Mom.' 'Ok Mom.' 'Thanks Jamie' from (L.). 'Why don't I take the kids to my house so you can take some time to relax and do what you want?'
'How was your day?' 'How are you?' You know stuff like that. Never happens. As soon as I talk to or hear from the kids or Larry, demands start to fly. Of course I don't take it too well and all three of them get some lip about it from me. I don't want to be like that though. I don't like my sharp tounge sometimes. I really feel bad when the day is over. I love my kids but right now I'm not 'liking' them much. I feel a shift coming on. There will be 2 temporarily unhappy children in my household if they don't heed the warning and KNOCK IT OFF!!!
Anyway, other than that life is great. Job = great. Sleep = great. Music = great. Good friends = great.
Later.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Nothin Special
Hm. I haven't blogged in a while. My life is pretty uneventful lately. I made spaghetti tonight, cleaned up my mess, listened to a new CD - Rahsaan Patterson. Good CD. I don't like all of the songs but most are pretty cool.
The kids have showered and I think we're all ready for bed. It's sad. I never thought I'd be going to bed at 8:30. Just a short couple of years ago I was up til 1/2 am drinking. I'd get up at 5 in the morning and do it all over again. Bed time is the best time of the day for me. I can actually relax, do some daydreaming and go to sleep. I have to say my favorite thing to do besides laughing is sleeping.
Speaking of sleeping and dreaming, for quite a few nights in a row I dreamt (?spelling) about people at work. They were all pretty good dreams. Of course they were guys. One of the dreams had everyone in it, with a main character. It's pretty wierd the next day when you see that person. I feel like they 'know' that they were in the dream. You're probably thinking they were sexual in nature but they weren't. Thank god they weren't - that would be extra wierd. They were just plain old dreams. Too hard to recall verbally much less writing it down.
Anyway, that's life right now. Hope everyone is doing well.
Here's a quote: "Problems have only the size and the power that you give them". S.H.
The kids have showered and I think we're all ready for bed. It's sad. I never thought I'd be going to bed at 8:30. Just a short couple of years ago I was up til 1/2 am drinking. I'd get up at 5 in the morning and do it all over again. Bed time is the best time of the day for me. I can actually relax, do some daydreaming and go to sleep. I have to say my favorite thing to do besides laughing is sleeping.
Speaking of sleeping and dreaming, for quite a few nights in a row I dreamt (?spelling) about people at work. They were all pretty good dreams. Of course they were guys. One of the dreams had everyone in it, with a main character. It's pretty wierd the next day when you see that person. I feel like they 'know' that they were in the dream. You're probably thinking they were sexual in nature but they weren't. Thank god they weren't - that would be extra wierd. They were just plain old dreams. Too hard to recall verbally much less writing it down.
Anyway, that's life right now. Hope everyone is doing well.
Here's a quote: "Problems have only the size and the power that you give them". S.H.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
alcoholism
I just felt like putting this down. Not sure why. Alcoholism sucks. One thought in my head once in a while is can I really go 15 or more years without drinking - at all? I just can't wrap my head around that one. It's been a little over a year and a half now. I'm happier than I've ever been which is what keeps me sober. I know how I would feel by having that one drink. Not only would I want more I would feel so ashamed, I'd want to drink again and again to escape myself. So I go day by day, literally. I made it through today not even wanting to drink. How about tomorrow? I gave myself one out - it's probably wrong but hey, sue me. The only time I would allow myself to drink is if something horrible happened to one of my children. I would drink myself silly. I would be a basket case anyway - why not just go all the way with it at a time of desperation. I would never really wish anything to happen to my children so that's good. I don't really even want to drink anymore. If my insurance will cover it, I'm going to try that new medication to help me stop smoking. It's called Chantix. It curves the cravings by occupying the part of your brain that nicotine occupies. Also it blocks the effects of nicotine so even if you do smoke your body doesn't get it - basically wasting money. I think I'm ready to quit smoking. I love life. I'm now addicted to loving life, my job, my kids. I want to live as long as I can.
For any alcoholic reading this - there really is life after drinking. It's hard to imagine, I know. Life is what you make of it. If your miserable, stop being miserable. If your happy, keep being happy. It's that simple. I made the decision a long time ago that I didn't want to be miserable. Although it has taken a few years, I finally made it. My new goal, besides quitting smoking, is to get rid of the miserables around me, wackly/SD you know who I'm talking about. That's the hardest part for me. It'll happen. Not sure how, not sure when, but it will.
For any alcoholic reading this - there really is life after drinking. It's hard to imagine, I know. Life is what you make of it. If your miserable, stop being miserable. If your happy, keep being happy. It's that simple. I made the decision a long time ago that I didn't want to be miserable. Although it has taken a few years, I finally made it. My new goal, besides quitting smoking, is to get rid of the miserables around me, wackly/SD you know who I'm talking about. That's the hardest part for me. It'll happen. Not sure how, not sure when, but it will.
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