bored

Once again I find myself with plenty to do, I just don't want to do any of it.

I have replaced alcohol with sleeping. It's not quite as fun as alcohol but it's just a different means to the same end - escape. I really don't want to sleep my life away. As I have been reminded recently that life really isn't that bad compared to other's. It is true. I do love living. I'm just not that good at it.

So we got through the Ipod shuffle incident. Larry went to the kids' school on Mon. morning last week and the principal found the ipod in my son's locker. I knew it had to be either here somewhere hidden or with one of my kids. I knew those other kids didn't take it. I told Larry but he just didn't believe me. He never does and then turns around and says "I should have listened to you." What the hell, after 11 1/2 years you think he'd figure that out by now, but of course, just like a man, he hasn't. Anyway now that we've successfully discovered the culprit, I can get on with other stuff.

I think I'm going to start my kids and probably myself with counseling of some sort. I went through my self exploration at treatment. I got to take time to really find out what I wanted in life and to think about life in a different way. Unfortunately, I didn't consider the kids and what they possibly were feeling. I've noticed them acting out a lot more just in the past few months. Maybe they need to talk to someone about stuff, ya know? If y'all know of any kids' shrinks let me know. I would never let them put the kids on medication though, I really don't believe in that crap. They're so little I don't see how any medication could be okay for them.

Another thing I am determined to do is to clean out my kids' rooms and take everything away. Start fresh, not toys, no games, nothing fun until they can learn to respect me and their father. Larry and I also need to work on that some more. Larry more than myself I have to say. I can be somewhat calm when talking to the kids/trying to explain stuff.

Well, Larry and I should be getting M'd the beginning of Dec. After that my income should increase considerably. I will be able to get back to school and finally finish. Since I'm so close I want to get my bachelor's degree in Bus Mgmt - HR focus. Them go on to get my accounting degree. I figured I should do that considering what my daily job consist of. It will make me a better employee. Of course I'll have many other options having those degrees. I can see how being mega rich could be a pain in the ass with people coming out of the woodwork. I just want to be comfortable. That's my goal. I've noticed that never seems to happen though. I'm always getting myself into a jam.

Baby steps I guess. We'll see how the next 6 mos. turn out and adjust the plan accordingly. It's like a football (or any sport) game. If the calls you're making aren't working, you adjust. I'm getting my ass kicked so far.