shit, shit, shit

I'm hating right now. I hate those rich fuckers who never have to worry about money; how the bills get paid.

Anyway, yeah money issues still the same. I think I'm going to go through with the M thing. It's a business transaction. Plain and simple. A necessary evil, if you will. It wouldn't be a real marriage, ya know. Just a means to an end.

I read last night that Gerlad Levert died. He is by all-time favorite singer. Damn. What a waste of good talent. I loved his voice; could pick it out anywhere. And to boot, he was only 40 yrs old. RIP G, RIP.

I'm having a jewelry party on 11/21 - I have my guest list pretty much ready. I hope people will be there. It sucks to invite people and no one shows. It's downright embarrassing. My son had a birthday party a couple years ago, he invited about 6 kids, and only one showed up. I felt so bad for him, I actually cried. At least if no one shows, I'm an adult, I can say fuck off and mean it.

Anyway, that's all for now. Oh, a lotta shit going on with L. - lost his ipod shuffle @ my house, it's no where to be found, he thinks one of the 4 kids (2 of our own and 2 friends' kids) stole it. I'm not so sure. I think he misplaced it. Misplaced it where? That is the question. It really is no where to be found. I looked everywhere. Anyway I hope it shows up soon. I can't take the ranting and raving from him about it. SHUT UP ALREADY LARRY - I'm working on it - double ck to make sure the kids didn't take it. Blah, blah, blah you say. I know. I kinda feel that way writing this.

I know I'm obsessive compulsive with everything. I'm admitting that. I'm not a stalker but I can't stop thinking about this guy I like. I hate this. Why can't I just be a normal person, ya know? Drink when I want to - stop when I want to. Ya know stuff like that. Anyway that's really all this time.

Later

J.