So, I'm acutally considering Marrying dipshit, L. I'll tell you why. If we get married that means I would get paid more monthly as part of his disability - without affecting his paycheck. Not just a little, a large amount.
Now I know what some of you are thinking, W.T.F ARE YOU DOING, JAMIE!!! I ask that myself a lot. It doesn't change the fact that I'm financially drowning without any way out. I can't do any more overtime at work. I can't work more at the part-time job until I pay my boss back for the loan from her. So I'm fucked. I have never been this close to losing my house, ever - even in my alcoholic days. This really makes me want to drink, ya know? One of the main reasons I don't drink is money troubles. Well, I have them anyway so what the hell. I just want to get caught up so I don't have to rob from Peter to pay Paul one week and then from Paul to pay Peter. That's the only way I can see the light. It would only be for a few years probably, or until I meet someone who understands me and my situation and who can deal with it. Who am I kidding, no man could deal with my situation. Ok so that's probably the problem with me. Damn it. At least I'm honest with people. I already told dipshit what we would be marrying for. He knows. My friend thinks I'm crazy cause she has found her FAITH and has this idea that marriage is somehow sacred. Screw that bullshit. You gotta do what you gotta do. I don't think marriage is the end all to be all. Americans fucked up what marriage is supposed to be anyway so don't point the finger. To each his own. I don't believe (totally) in the sanctity of marriage. It would take a hellofa man to change that about me. Also I would never change my last name. That's a deal breaker. My family name is as important to me as any man's is. I keep my last name, period, no discussion. Oh another thing, if we get married (I have told him) he doesn't own me any more than he does right now. He loved that comment.
Anyway, I'm sure this isn't what anyone who knows me was expecting. What can I say. Maybe I've lost my damn mind. I gotta go find it - maybe I'll get a new one.
Later
J.
About Me
- shorty
- A life fulfilled, great childhood, the opportunity to f*#* up and the pleasure of doing so. Making up, breaking up. Living and loving. That's all I've got.
7 comments:
i wrote waaaaay too much so i sent you a myspace mail. supergeek has struck.
lol - responded.
you are the person that many assistance programs should be helping rather than the moochers that they are giving money to... do you qualify for any such programs? tri-cap? i don't have any helpful advice but i would encourage you to keep looking for a solution. there's one out there, it just needs to be found.
Oh. My. God. What whackly said! Or marry him.
P.S. You will find a good guy, I believe it will happen so therefore it will.
I did apply for Tri-cap which give energy assistance but they don't have their grant money yet to give out. I can try for emergency assistance but I would then have to go to court and do the child support thing. Larry knows that's a possibility. I have a bad feeling about that since he watches the kids so much and they are on his medical insurance now. I just have a very bad feeling that would be worse somehow. Maybe also it's just my subconcious mind trying to give up to easily on better alternatives. I'm still working out the details of everything/trying anything I can to get caught up. Thanks for not hating Wackly, I was afraid you'd hate me for even considering this option. I know your a better friend than that but I also know how you feel about certain things, like marriage. Thanks for the advice guys. I appreciate the ear.
well i may or may not feel a certain way about certain things but would me telling you that help you in your situation? doubtful. there are programs at tri-cap that can help pay for rent/mortgage payments. i don't know how it works but i know we had some people involved in that program when i was working in apt. management. they will pay a percentage of rent for a couple of months or something like that. also, if you own the home and have a mortgage don't hesitate to call the bank the loan is through and ask about deferring payments. they may let you defer a month or two of mortgage payments under certain circumstances. all these ideas are only temporary but they could allow you to catch up/have a breather.
http://www.mhfa.state.mn.us/homes/HAF.htm is also there if you have the right kind of loan... or maybe.. refinancing
http://www.leg.state.mn.us/lrl/links/housing.asp
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